CV NEWS FEED // In a new EDIFY video, Father Philip Bochanski explained that Catholics could better communicate with loved ones attracted to members of the same sex by mastering “the art of true, loving accompaniment.”
Fr. Bochanski serves as the Executive Director of Courage International, which describes itself as “a Roman Catholic apostolate for men and women who experience same-sex attractions and those who love them.” Originally from the Philadelphia area, he is currently based in Connecticut.
The four-and-a-half-minute video entitled “The REAL Pastoral Approach to LGBT” begins with Bochanski raising the question, “How can we as Catholics nurture these relationships while not abandoning the teachings of the faith?”
The answer lies in “accompaniment,” he says. The priest cautions against being quick to discuss Church teaching on homosexuality or providing personal input or even a solution off the bat. Instead, he suggests listening to and hearing the person out first.
First, we must be willing to listen to a person’s story — their whole story. This is Pope Francis’ advice. “In life, God accompanies people,” he says, “and we must accompany them, starting from their situation.” When we take someone’s story seriously, we give them the chance to take it seriously themselves.
He cites the Gospel narrative of the Road to Emmaus (Luke 24:13-35), encouraging all Catholics to follow Christ’s example of carefully and completely listening to what His two disciples had to say before responding.
“Jesus showed us what it meant to listen to another person’s story with an open heart. It’s on us to do the same for each other,” Bochanski said.
Bochanski highlights a sequence of three powerful sentences a Catholic can say to a family member or friend who has come out as LGBT: “I love you. I believe God has a plan for your life. And I’d like to hear your story.”
He adds that in addition to this, it’s important to understand why the Church is opposed to same-sex unions: not because of “hate” but because of love.
“The Catholic church explains that the primary purposes of romantic and sexual relationships are to form a family and to create new life,” he says. “There’s a real spiritual beauty to the family unit — by becoming mothers and fathers, we’re naturally drawn out of ourselves and called to give our lives to the people we love.”
Bochanski explains that
this aspect of the natural order and God’s plan isn’t designed to oppress or discriminate — it’s designed to guide us to the fulfillment that comes with rightly-ordered self-giving love. And this self-giving love is by no means meant for married people alone. As the Church has written, we can’t fully find our true selves except by making a sincere gift of ourselves.
Bochanski also emphasizes that “all Catholics — regardless of vocation, or sexual attraction — are called to live out spiritual fatherhood or motherhood for others in need.”
He closes by saying that “accompaniment doesn’t mean we all have to accept every thought the other has or approve every decision that the other makes. It means that we walk together — the way Jesus showed us.”
