Back in the day, like centuries ago, cardinals and bishops used to argue over such trifling matters as the divinity of Christ and the nature of the Trinity.
Now that they have those things cleared up, they’re fighting over something new – whether a McDonalds should be allowed to open in a Vatican-owned building that houses several cardinals.
The debate is raging fierce, with advocates both for and against.
One high ranking prelate, Cardinal Giacomo Tortellini, weighed in:
“I don’t mind the idea of a fast food restaurant in the Vatican. But what really annoys me is the way everyone laughed at me during the 2013 conclave when I suggested we get a Panda Express. Yeah, that was me. And now we’re getting a McDonalds like it’s the most normal thing ever. Whatever. I’ve always been ahead of my time.”