In a somewhat strange development, discussions at the Extraordinary Synod on the Family have stalled due to the sudden emergence of a fierce debate among the bishops over the proper way to pronounce the word “synod.”
Reportedly the dispute centers on whether the correct pronunciation is sigh-nod or sinnid.
While seemingly a matter of little importance, it apparently started to bother Pope Francis when every single speech given by a participant in the synod included several instances of “…here at the sigh-nod – or sinnid, whatever.” According to inside reports, the Pope eventually just stood up and asked the bishops and cardinals firmly but kindly how the hell they were going to solve the crisis of the family at a secret meeting if they couldn’t even agree on what the secret meeting was called.
At that point, a serious argument broke out among the gathered prelates and has consumed the entire agenda of the synod since then. Speaking under conditions of strict anonymity, two of the synod participants agreed to share their views on the matter.
Cardinal “Wolfgang” from Germany was emphatic that the correct pronunciation is sinnid. “Zis is obvious, no? Sinnid is zee more elegant, more sophisticated way. It is the way of subtlety and refinement that is needed at zis meeting – zis sinnid. I ask you – who says sigh-nod? I vill tell you who – ze backward American hicks vis zeir pick-up trucks and zeir Frozen. Do I vant to build a snowman? No sanks.”
Cardinal “Sam” from the United States was just as adamant that the proper way to say it is sigh-nod. “I mean, come on – sigh-nod, right? Seems pretty clear to me. It’s pronounced the way you would express a sort of resigned acceptance of something. Sigh, nod. Like when my spiritual advisor asks me if I ate an entire box of Double Nutter Chocolate Chunk cookies instead of doing my spiritual reading. Sigh…nod. Or when my nephew asks me if the Cubs have always been this terrible. Sigh…nod. I mean, sinnid…seriously? It sounds like a German word for the little stream that’s always running down your nose in winter. Get that guy some Kleenex so he can stop slurping the sinnid off his upper lip. I think it’s the literal German translation of ‘snot creek.’ Am I right?”
The debate rages on.
Let’s hope the bishops figure it out soon though, so they can move on to more important questions tomorrow.
I know the question I’m getting tomorrow. “Why were you giggling last night? Did you write another lame and sophomoric blog post?”